My Stalker.

DISCLAIMER:

I'm not mentioning her name, or the name of the guy who helped me, or any locations or personal information, I have no intention of causing her any harm, this post is just about what happened, a true story, my personal experience, if you know who these people are, then please be respectful, don't contact her or confront her, because I'm in the process of dealing with the whole situation.
On my blog posts, I talk about my life and personal experiences, and that's why I'm writing this blog post, because this has been on going in my life since the 3rd of September 2016, so almost a year.



I just want to clarify that I would consider this mild stalking, as it's all online based and she's basically watching me every day,  the reason I call her a stalker is due to how often she views my content and her previous behaviour before I blocked her on all social media.
There's a massive difference between curiosity and enjoying my blog, what she is doing is regularly viewing my blog twice a day, on some occasions, she views it 5 times in one day! Even though I only post every 3-4 days, which this annoyed me a little bit, but whatever, let her look, let her waste her time watching me, but then one day she commented on one of my blog posts, and everyone I've shown this comment to has had the same response 'WTF', because the request is so exact, she basically wanted me and Aaron to talk about her previous relationship with Aaron, which I will NOT talk about, since it didn't end well, she knows that and we don't want to deal with that shit anymore, what happened in their relationship is dead and gone.

I thought I'd tell you that first since that comment is why I'm putting an end to the stalking, I'm not letting it happen anymore.

I'm now going to tell you how it all began.

So my stalker is my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, they were together less than a year but they lived together, as Aaron went to university in that part of the UK.
They broke up, Aaron had already moved back to Yorkshire at this point, she moved on, Aaron moved on, and you'd think that'd be the end of that. NOPE.

On the 3rd of September 2016, Aaron tagged me in facebook status, stating that we were on a cocktail date, this was mine and Aaron's 5th date I believe, we met just after Aaron's 23rd birthday, which is the 10th of August, so we met early/mid-August and we hit it off right away.
Aaron's ex saw this post and had to find out who I was, by messaging Aaron, so that's the day she discovered I existed.

At first, it didn't bother me that Aaron was still friends with his ex on facebook since at this point they'd been broken up over 3 years (it's now over 4 years since they broke up) and he told me about her ( I was telling him about my previous relationships and he told me about his, like most couples do when they're getting to know each other in the beginning of their relationship) so I knew she was no threat to me, he explained why he kept her as a facebook friend and it was all fair enough.

Based on what Aaron had told me I already knew she was an odd ball but didn't think too much of it since she's none of mine or Aaron's business at this point.

She then followed me on Instagram, which I thought was kind of weird, I sent a screenshot to Aaron since I was at Sixth Form and he was at work and he clarified that it was definitely weird, but yet again, we ignored her, didn't think much of it, just like the message she sent to Aaron asking who I was, we didn't over think that one either, when we probably should have.

I then began to notice that every time I posted an Instagram story more often than not, she'd be the first to view it, as on Instagram stories you can see who's viewed them, Aaron and I just thought maybe she's just really active on Instagram, or maybe she's watching me.

Aaron and I then became 'Facebook Offical' which we'd be together a while before changing our Facebook Relationship Status, but one day we changed it and of course, she had to comment on it.


The comment with the cross is hers, I've covered all names for privacy, and my friend had to get the screenshot for me as I have her blocked.

Which upon reading the comment it seems like she's just happy for us, that would be the case, but Aaron has been in a relationship with her and knows what she's like, but people can change, so we didn't say anything and just ignored her comment.


Time went by and she was still looking at my Instagram story and occasionally messaging Aaron, but we continued to ignore it since that's all she was doing.

I then made this blog, this is my second blog if you didn't already know, my blog was originally just a lifestyle and weight loss, now it's now a combination of various things.

One day, I'm on my Instagram, she's still looking at all my Insta stories, so I go over to her Instagram, which I don't judge people for looking at their ex's girlfriend or boyfriend's Insta or their new partner's Insta, I completely understand the curiosity, I've done it, all my friends do it, damn, even my mum does it!! But looking multiple times a day is not normal.
So I'm on her Instagram page, I've seen it before, but somethings different this time, she has a blog link to her new blog, which is fine since millions of people write blogs, I 100% recommend writing blogs as they're a great way to relax, anyway I have a look at her blog and it was identical to my blog (I've changed my blog layout massively since) But she made her's the same as mine, the only thing different was the image, I thought, 'hmm that's strange, is that intentional or a coincidence', I then noticed she had a post up, so I read it, it was extremely similar to my first post on this blog, except she made it relevant to herself and made a dig at me for counting calories. It became very apparent that it was very intentional.
But we ignored it, but this time Aaron decided to block his ex on Instagram and unfriend her on Facebook, he also blocked one of her friend's since she randomly started followed Aaron on Instagram, intentional or bad timing?

A couple of weeks pass and Aaron and I go on a day trip to York, we were both super excited, we made a list of things to do, we ate amazing food in fine restaurants, we drank cocktails and overall had a wonderful time together.
Whilst I'm there I'm taking loads of Instagram Stories and pictures, and she is seeing all of them, instantly, she must have kept the Instagram app open just waiting for my next story, because that's how quick she was, which this sounds like I don't have many people viewing my Instagram stories, well, an average Instagram story gets about 60 views, not loads, but enough to make it visible that she's waiting for them, as she's getting to them before anyone else!
 Aaron and I continue to ignore this, we're having a great day, we don't want her to spoil it, so we let her watch. 

But she can see that Aaron and I are having an amazing time, she had to get involved in some way, she wanted to find a way to spoil our day out, which we'd spent a lot of money on.
As Aaron had only unfriended her on Facebook, she could still message him, so she did, obviously, when she knew we were on a weekend away, having fun, without her.
She wanted to know why he'd blocked her on Instagram and unfriended her on Facebook, Aaron made an excuse because he didn't want to cause an argument and especially since he didn't want to spoil our meal because we were having a meal at the time of this message.
Aaron then made the foolish mistake of telling drunk Cammy that she'd messaged, and that was the first time I messaged and confronted her, I stopped biting my tongue, I sent her a message through Facebook, basically asking her to stop stalking me, to stay out of mine and Aaron's relationship and to get a grip, she obviously denied stalking me and that she didn't know that we were in York, even though she was the first to see all of my Instagram Stories from that day, she also claimed she had her 'own life and better shit to do' than to stalk me... clearly not.
I then blocked her on all social media, so did Aaron, we both thought that was the end of her getting involved in our relationship and in our lives.

NOPE.

So here's a confession, I can see who's viewing my blog, I know what town you're from, your mobile device, and various other different things.

All of my blog viewers get to my blog either through Twitter, Instagram or Facebook, as that's where I put my links, my blog is viewed world wide by the way.

Out of hundreds of people, only one person views my blog through a quick search, a mobile search engine, this person is the only person who views my blog in that town, that town being where she lives, my stalkers town!
The only person who has to search for my blog, since you're blocked from all my social media!
That's why I know it's her, and that I know she looks at my blog every day, occasionally 5 times in one day! I know which blog posts she reads, how long she spends reading them, I know all this and more!

Which I ignored this, I thought, Fuck it, let her read my blog as much as she likes, as long as she doesn't try to contact us.... then she commented.

She had to go and comment on my blog, asking the most stupid question, who else in the world would ask a question that exact? Also, she was the only person active on my blog when the comment was posted.

Why do you want Aaron and I to sit down and make a video, talking about you? Talking about your relationship with Aaron, why does that matter to you? You were there when you and Aaron were together, why do you need a video clarifying what your relationship with him was like? You know what happened.  You both moved on, why can't you leave that relationship in the past where it is going to stay. I don't get how you can stalk your ex's relationship, whilst being in a relationship, if I knew Aaron was doing that I would be heartbroken, I cannot imagine how your more recent ex feels knowing that whilst you were with him, you were stalking myself and Aaron, instead of focusing on him.

After I responded to her comment, acting like I didn't know it was her, I took some time to think about what I was going to do, how can I get her to leave me alone, leave myself and Aaron alone.
I asked people for advice, I was told to continue ignoring her, but I've been ignoring her for nearly a year, ignoring her doesn't work.

So I contacted her recent ex, only to ask if he knew about what was happening, to see if he could give me advice, I sent him all the proof that it was her, and he clarified that it was her, her recent ex-boyfriend said that everything matched up and that was stalker was indeed her 100%, she can no longer deny it's not her, even though she's still denying it.

Her recent ex was so helpful, so friendly, I'm so thankful for how nice he was to me, he was so willing to help me out, I appreciated it so much, I apologised to him repeatedly about the whole thing and about getting him involved, but he was so understanding, I feel kind of bad because he confronted her about it all, and told her that she has to stop and sent her the evidence proving it was her, she claimed that she read my blog for enjoyment, but then again denied that it was her, contradiction.
 I also feel bad because when I asked him if she had ever mentioned myself or Aaron, he said that she mentioned how Aaron didn't cook for her like he does for me, apparently, she said this to her ex-boyfriend whilst he'd taken her out for an expensive meal that he'd paid for, and she was sat there bitching about Aaron, just shows how this isn't just affecting myself and Aaron. He also told me some other personal things about their relationship, which I won't mention, but he was just so lovely, open and honest with me when he could have easily ignored me completely.
He described her response to being confronted was 'Atomic', and she then attempted to throw insults at me, saying that I was 'fat and possessive', which, yeah I'm chubby, but I'm certainly not fat and based on what Aaron told me, she's actually bigger than me, which isn't an insult, because we shouldn't mock each other for our weight or size, I just thought it was ironic that she called me fat, when I'm a size 12-14 and according to Aaron she was bigger than me, not that that's a bad thing.
Her ex said that she kicks off like this 'when she has no leg to stand on', his word's not mine, almost like how a child would behave, she has no way of defending herself, so she uses 'insults' as an attempt to get back at me.

Now she has agreed to stop stalking me, and if she stops, then that's wonderful news for me, if she continues, then I will have to do the next steps.

I know that she probably wants me to write a blog post about her since she stated that she wanted a video about her, but here it is, I'm not giving into her, I'm just sharing my situation, regardless, it's a bit of a catch 22, she always wanted me to write a blog about her, but now she can't view it since she agreed with her ex to no longer stalk me, she'll probably read it anyway.

This may all seem tame and childish, but can you just imagine what it's like knowing that your boyfriend's ex is watching you every day, this has been every day for nearly a year, a person neither of you want involved in your lives, but she's there watching regardless.
You get fed up of the same shit.

And that's everything, I'll keep you guys updated if anything happens, have you ever had a stalker? Please let me know your stalker story!




2 comments

  1. My boyfriend's ex-wife is stalking me - not only stalking me but also calling me names on her blog and social media channels for all to see. I can totally understand your situation and I hope it gets better soon... Ignoring them doesn't work but unfortunately, there's not much more to do!

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    1. Oh god, I feel for you! I wish I could understand why she's doing this, I've confronted her, her recent ex has confronted her, if she doesn't stop then I'll look into legal action, it's not fair or okay for her to be stalking me, have you confronted your stalker? Wishing you the best lovely and that his psycho ex wife backs off xxx

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